Being a Powerful Person
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Delivered By
Ben Selby
Delivered On
September 17, 2017 at 11:00 AM

Being a Powerful Person


Life is 1% what happens to me and 99% what happens through me.


I.                    What does it mean to be a powerful/powerless person?

a.       A powerful person is a person who is able to live a life that responds to what is within them instead of what is around them.  Powerful people decide who they are, what they are going to do, and how they are going to do it. 

b.       A Powerful person displays self-control, self-management, and responsibility.

c.       A Powerless person is a person who lives life based on what is happening around them and to them.  A Powerless person is a slave to their circumstances.

d.       Being the loudest, smartest, richest or most talented person in the room doesn’t mean you are the most powerful.

e.       Being powerful is mostly about your will.  It is about being able to say “I CHOOSE this and I WILL do this.”

f.        You are supposed to be powerful. 

g.       Sometimes we super-spiritualize weakness in the church. 

h.       We can have stuff but stuff can’t have us.

i.        If you want to follow God, you must be powerful. 

j.        Most people are not powerful people, but every person can be powerful.


II.                 Powerless People

a.       Power is a matter of control.  A truly powerful person is governed from within, so all they need to be secure is to have SELF-control.

b.       A powerless person is governed by their circumstances, so to be secure they have to control their circumstances.

c.       Powerless people are usually stuck in a triangle of being a bully, a victim, and/or a rescuer.

d.       Victim – The victim places the responsibility of their actions on the circumstance they are in.  Everything is happening to the victim. 

e.       Rescuer – Rescuers surround themselves with broken people they feel they can help in order to make themselves feel needed and important.


f.        Bully – Bully’s use force and intimidation to gain power over others. 

g.       Control is only power if it is self-control. 


III.              Powerful People

a.       Powerful people control what they can control and they don’t let what they can’t control, control them.

b.       Powerless people are emotionally led.

c.       Powerful people are emotionally equipped.

d.       Powerful people CHOOSE to have a good day.

e.       Powerful people CARE what others think about them, but they prioritize it.

f.        Powerless people can’t care what others think about them because they can’t please everybody.

g.       If a powerful person makes a mess, he/she cleans it up.

h.       Powerful people are Response-able.

i.        Powerful people create the environment that they want within themselves and then around themselves. 

j.        They keep that environment clean by removing people who pollute them and allowing people into their life who add cleanliness, making everyone even healthier.

k.       Powerful people don’t try to get others to respect them, they respect others and develop themselves to walk in a respectful way.     

l.        They develop their environment by treating others how they want to be treated and not allowing those who treat them wrong to be in their life.  

m.     Powerful people don't wait for something to happen, they happen.

n.       Powerful people do not come into agreement with a victim mentality.  They say "so what are you going to do about it?"

o.       Powerful people, just by being powerful, invite others to be powerful as well.


IV.              Being Powerful/Powerless impacts all of your relationships.

1.       Powerless people draw their security from those around them.  Therefore, they are a slave to those around them.

2.       You don’t bite the hand that feeds you.  You will serve whoever you are dependent on.



3.       Powerful people are secure in who they are.  They are not afraid to say yes to what is right or no to what is wrong.  Even if that means upsetting others. 

4.       When you gain your security from others, you will fear anyone you can’t control.  This creates stress and anxiety.

5.       Powerless people tend to create stressful and anxiety driven environments.  This produces toxic relationships.

6.       Powerless people are consumers and they feed on those around them.

7.       Powerful people refuse to be in toxic relationships.

8.       A powerful person is not controlled by the manipulations of the people around them, but by what they personally want to do. 

9.       Powerless people use getting upset, withdrawing, nagging, ridiculing, pouting, crying, or getting angry to manipulate, pressure, and punish others.

10.   What/Who are you trying to get security through?

a.       Is your security through your kids?

b.       Your spouse?

c.       Success at your job?

d.       Popularity, Reputation in town?

e.       Money?

11.   Powerless people tend to live in an environment of anxiety and stress because they cannot control their everyday circumstances. 

12.   Powerful people tend to live in an environment with peace and free thinking because they control THEMSELVES each day.


V.                 Things a powerless person might say:

a.       I live in a perpetual state of anxiety because I feel out of control. In adding you to my life, I have increased my anxiety because I can't control you either.  

b.       I'm threatened by everything you do that I didn't decide for you. 

c.       Until you let me control you, I don't feel safe in this relationship. 

d.       Unless you let me control you, you don't love me.

e.       The more miserable I act the more you have to make me feel better.

f.        I’ll be nice if you’re nice.

g.       You did this to me and so you have to make up for it.

h.       I had a horrible day because somebody else decided that I was going to be upset.

i.        I had a good day because I fed on somebody else’s happiness all day.

j.        My life is finally good because I am consuming the good life that somebody else has instead of learning to make my own life good.


VI.              Things a powerful person might say.

a.       I don't hope to have a good day.  I have a good day because I choose to.

b.       I have a vision for my life and I won't compromise it.

c.       I understand that you may be mad at me if I don’t do what you want but I will not submit my will to your manipulation.

d.       I said I was going to treat you this way and so I am even when you aren’t treating me how you said you would.

e.       I can love you openly because, even if you don’t accept me, I already accept myself so your rejection doesn’t define and therefore hurt me.

f.        I forgive you because I want to be forgiven by others and by God.  I will not allow your offense to shut off my forgiveness.  I don’t give you that power over me.


Luke 22:41-44 NKJV 41 And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, 42 saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” 43 Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. 44 And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Philippians 4:12-13 NKJV 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ[b] who strengthens me.


Matthew 5:38-45 NKJV  38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you