Breaking Free From Shame
Delivered By
Ben Selby
Delivered On
December 10, 2017 at 11:00 AM

Breaking Free From Shame

  1. What is Shame?
    1. In the dictionary: Shame - a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.


  1. Shame is one of the devil’s greatest tools.  Why is shame so effective?
  1. Because it is centered around relationships.
  2. Because it is normal in our culture.
  3. Because the Church has called it friend.


  1. Who Taught You That?
    1. In order to get free from shame, you have to understand that you have been trained to make it a natural reaction.
    2. We are a result of what we have been taught.

Genesis 3:6-11 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” 11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?”

    1. You have to ask yourself, “Who taught you that?” If it is not from God, then it requires change.





  1. Shame has become a friend to the church, although it is actually a demonic weapon.
    1. Shame is a method of control.  We have picked it up as a culture because we find it useful in getting people to do what we want.
    2. Shame is our enemy, but in the church we have made it our friend.  We have developed the belief that if we can make people feel bad enough that they will want God.  It has an overhead belief that is: if we don’t break the religious rules, that means I know God.
    3. The church uses shame to manipulate people into doing what is right.  The problem with that is that people aren’t choosing what is right because they want what is best for them.  They are choosing what is right because they are afraid of disconnection.
    4. Because we have culturalized shame, we have a hard time letting go of it. We think that us feeling bad is keeping us from making wrong choices.  


  1. A few things to understand about a shame culture:
    1. A culture full of shame encourages people to hide their sin and problems at the fear of being disconnected from or frowned upon.
    2. A shame culture discourages being unique and creative because if you end up being something others don’t like, you are shunned.
    3. People do not make choices out of a desire for freedom from sin, but out of fear of what others will think or do to them.
    4. The goal of shame is to get you to reject Grace.
    5. A shame culture promotes identifying yourself as a sinner.
    6. You are the only one who decides if shame is or is not going to be in your life.


  1. In order to have a culture without sin, it is imperative that we cultivate a culture without shame.

Romans 2:1-6 2 Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who “will render to each one according to his deeds”







  1. Breaking Free From Shame
    1. We need to know how Jesus responds to sin.
    2. Our response to sin is shame, but God’s response to sin is grace.
    3. Changing from a sin focused life to a grace focused life.
  2. The Case for Grace
    1. Grace always trumps sin.
    2. God’s grace fixes what you break better than it was before you broke it.
    3. God’s grace is our empowerment to never lose.

Romans 5:18-20 NKJV 18 Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. 19 For as by the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience the many will be made righteous. 20 Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, 21 so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 6:1-2 NKJV What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? 

2 Corinthians 5:21 NKJV 21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.


  1. Final Thoughts
    1. Sin is not what is holding you back from God.  It is what you believe about sin that is.
    2. You are free from sin, so it doesn’t get to put shackles on you.  You have to put them on yourself.
    3. Jesus removed sins power.  Shame restores that power.
    4. We must stop saying no all the time and figure out what we need to say yes to.
    5. You are a slave to whatever you live in response to.  
    6. The humblest thing you could do when you sin, is receive grace and move on.
    7. What God has for me is why I will choose Him, not because of shame.


Romans 8:38-39 NKJV 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.